Thursday, November 23, 2017
Why Fighting Narcissists Is So Difficult
What are some of the reasons it is so hard to fight back at a narcissist? First of all, don't ever underestimate them, they are often much more clever than we know. I don't call them intelligent, i like to use the words clever, or maybe devious is a better choice. Let's just say that they are very good at what they do and at using the tools they have such as, gas-lighting, love-bombing, stonewalling and any other narc term you can find.
So they have a list of devious tools to use in their approach of abusing others around them, what do we have? Do we sink to their level and use the same tactics? I suppose some of the strategies they use could be used against them as well in turn, but remember that they are often pros at using these tools, and if you are the abused, then you likely are only an amateur at this point.
I will prefer to remain an amateur when it comes to using the narc's tactics, but I will certainly continue to educate myself about every one of the tools they use. I use Star Wars analogies at times and like to reference the Dark Side as the narcissists, and the Light Side of the force has the empathetic and kind-natured beings. The Light Side does not use the tactics of the Dark, yet they still find ways to win in the end.
Narcissists often hide behind others and use the important people in their environment to create a shield around them. Don't ever kid yourself, narcs are complete cowards at their core, but getting to that core can be difficult. They are shielded in the illusion of the image they create for those around them, and in turn, the flying monkeys, minions and enablers create another shield around that one as they are duped by the narcissist. Often their displays of arrogance and complete lack of remorse or empathy will come off as a strong dose of confidence, but you can learn to see the difference if you look closely enough.
It can be quite simple to put a narc into a tailspin if you know which 'buttons to push'. But it is one thing to push buttons, and another to create progress in this fight. If the narc is hiding behind a fortress of minions and an illusion of deceit, how can one fight back directly at the narc when they are afraid to come out of hiding? Can we draw them out of hiding? Do we have to fight our way into the inner circle of lies in order to start sorting them out?
I don't actually have the answer, but I am testing social theories on a regular basis as I search for some. I am not normally the type of person to use words in a blog or on other social media sites to bring a problem to the surface because i would much rather deal with the person/s directly. I prefer head on debate in order to find real truth, because the behaviours don't lie, and I can fortunately read behaviour like someone would read a book. And this becomes the greatest weakness of the narc because they can not hide that part of themselves from everyone, especially someone like me.
My 'core' still contains a few fears, but very few, and certainly none in regards to facing others head on. On the other hand, the narcs I am dealing with are filled with fear, especially when their image or reputations are in question in the public eye. They are absolute cowards at their core because their core is built upon lies and illusion, and that is certainly no proper foundation for an empathetic human being to have.
For now I will continue to push the truth out in any forum in front of me without any fear at all, and I will continue to search for solutions to correcting the imbalances around us.
Although I see many 'cracks in the armour' surrounding the current narc I am dealing with, it will still be a long battle if I continue working from the outside in. Instead I will find different ways to use the truths that I hold to draw out the narc or narcs in involved. If I share the right information to the right people, the narcs will eventually have no choice but to come out of their 'fortress of illusion' in order to defend themselves. And as long as I don't slander anyone and share only the truth, then my platform for debate should bring results one way or the other, but at least progress will be made.
A public platform is the perfect place to deal with narcissists if you have truth on your side, and nothing to lose. They will have to defend their image and reputation while all we have to do is share the truth, but this will only work if you don't also have to defend your image as well, I know who I am and have no need to defend myself to others anymore. I am kind and compassionate with a natural empathetic nature, but also someone who normally does not take shit from anyone. Yet narcs have slithered out from under their rocks throughout my whole life to prey upon my good nature.
I decided not to reach under those rocks any more because I am tired of being bit. I have dealt with smear campaigns and will not sink to the same level. A smear campaign uses deceit or even partial truths to destroy, whereas I plan to use only truths that are objective in nature so that others can make choices for themselves. I would prefer a head on debate rather than using this platform to expose things, but for now I will use what I have because I am tired of being the abused!
I stated in my last article that my hypothesis is that NPD can be cured by empathy. I am not exactly sure how to inflict empathy onto the narc yet, but I have several theories I have created and am working from right now. The basis for my argument is that if Narcs have no empathy and that this is the reason for their affliction, then a dose of empathy is exactly what they need. If they could touch on empathy for even one moment, it would cause them to reflect upon themselves, and take a look in the mirror for the first time.
If a narc can learn to understand and judge themselves in the same way that normal people do, they will learn to see the reflection of their actions in those around them. For the moment they only care about themselves and their own needs, but if they were affected by empathy, they would have to look at the reflection of their own ego, and this will be emotionally painful for them after all of the bad things they have done to others. This is why a narc will not self-reflect, they are afraid, and are cowards at the core.
As usual, I will continue to share my findings along the way, and let you know what works and what doesn't. If you have any theories you would like to share, please comment or email them to me. I am on a mission bring power back to the Light side of the force and can longer sit back and watch good people be silently abused. I often feel like one Jedi standing up against the whole force of the dark side, but I have faith in human goodness and believe that the light side of the force will prevail