Friday, November 3, 2017

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse-Learning To Fight Back

As I step forward each day into the rest of the healing process, I find new and interesting aspects to overcoming psychological and emotional abuse.  Anyone who knows the basics about NPD and general narcissism, knows that they are very good at playing the victim when someone returns the behaviours that they used against you in the first place.  They will use anything they can find to garner sympathy from those around them, especially their flying monkeys.

I don't condone the behaviour of the flying monkeys, but know how off balance the real victims can be in these situations, and their minds are often out of control and cloudy, even though they often don't even know it themselves at the time.  Once you can stand back and take a clear objective view of the reality you have been faced with, you get the chance to reflect and find out how out of control you really were at the time.  I was astounded myself when this realization occurred.

So if I am able to keep my narc abuser off balance with my words, and by reminding her that my truths will likely tarnish all illusions she has created for those around her, and all the good that was accomplished off of the backs of the abused will eventually take away all memories of any good that was created out of it.  What a shame for everyone involved, but should the malignant narcissist walk away untarnished after all of this? 

Some will say yes and to continue the 'no contact' philosophy, but I say that if I know a problem exists and that others are being affected negatively, as I was, then I cannot be an enabler or bystander anymore!

As I continue to add pages to my book, it reminds me that words can be so very powerful, and that I am about to tarnish the reputations of several narcissists in my community at the same time.  Some of them even stood by my abuser and treated me just as poorly as she did, and someone needs to tell that story, because it is not just me who has been affected in very deep and negative ways from these people.  Other good people have also suffered many of the effects of emotional and psychological abuse from the very same person and people i am referring to, and they all show narcissistic qualities.

I guess they like to bully in teams because they have such weak hearts inside.  I feel badly for them in some ways, but I cannot condone their behaviours any more.  I plan to start posting parts of my book on a separate site and will share the link here eventually.  I want the people in my community to get a taste of some of the corruption, nepotism, and bullying going on in much of our municipality, the things most of them never get to see because they only see the surface, which is being 'presented' and marketed to them.

This blog for the moment is my way of striking back at narcissists in the hopes that i may learn some successful methods in dealing with them.  I will share both my successes and failures as I go along, but for those who still like creep my pages and check up on me, just know that you are likely on my 'list' right now.  If you are on my list, and I hold a truth about you that you may feel some guilt towards, maybe it is time for you to do some self reflecting for the first time in your life, and actually try to grow as human being.

Otherwise wait until the truth emerges and deal with it at that time, but the truth cannot be hidden forever, especially in this case.  I am certainly not out to destroy or hurt anyone, I am simply trying to teach a lesson that needs to be learned.  My hopes are that I will be able to teach a narc or two the hard lessons that we had to learn, so they can maybe find a way to experience empathy for the first time.

There is lots of information about going no contact with narcissists, I am hoping to help with a more aggressive approach where the abused eventually have a way to fight back and gain their confidence and self-esteem back.  Don't ever fight back with violence or malice, fight back with kindness and compassion.  I mean this in the way a parent would teach and condition a child, using a firm but loving hand. I suggest using words instead of the hand though!

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