Wednesday, November 1, 2017
Covert Narcissists-The Worst Kind of Evil
One of the most difficult things to overcome long after narcissistic abuse is the remaining and lingering thoughts. As much as we can get over the effects, the memories are still there and when things we see or hear bring them back to mind, it can feel like you are right there in the heart of it once again.
A year and a half after my 2 year ordeal with a covert/malignant narcissist for a boss, I am thankful for the experience, but there is still lingering resentment that sometimes comes back to haunt me. Often the hardest part is the reminder that she still seems to thrive, while those she has abused continue to suffer.
I refer to being thankful for the experience, and this is because if used properly, conflicting situations such as mine can lead to an abundance of personal growth. In my case, it helped me to finally see some things within my self that I was able to repair from years of emotional abuse in my past. This personal growth has led to a whole new me, one who is still physically broken in many ways, but emotionally and mentally I have never been stronger, or with a greater lack of fear.
The narcissist keeps you living in fear and anxiety, and all the while you often don't even know it is happening because the growth of the virus is slow and excruciating. It becomes deeply rooted in your psyche and removing it can be near impossible. The Covert narcissist is greatly skilled in this regard, and the worst of them all as far as I am concerned. I am ready to fight evil I can see in front of me, but evil that can mask itself as goodness for the naked eye is the worst kind of evil.
The narcissist I speak of, whom I will name soon enough, is a prominent member of my community and not near enough people have been able to see her 'other side'. She markets herself beautifully and knows how to manipulate the general public very well. All the while, she is using good people to fulfill her supply, and make herself look like a gem, where truly she is a chunk of coal.
My greatest narcissistic quality is that I believe she must still check up on me, and it is my hopes that she will be reading this as well. Maybe I can educate her a little and show her how horrible she truly is. They say that you can't fix someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, but I can at the very least try.
I plan to use my new 'self' to start exposing the narcissists in my own community in a very public way. I will start with the ones I have been personally affected by and then start helping my clients with theirs. It is time for the empathic beings of the world to fight back against this growing evil of narcissism. I will use the truth for mine, and I am currently writing a couple of songs that I hope to release in the next month or so. I will provide the youtube link here once I do.
I am back on the idea of exposing narcissists and will try to keep a journal here of my successes and failures in order to help others who are trying to do the same. I hope you will share any ideas you may have in the comments section.
Namaste and be well