During a youth meeting I was asked how we are to deal with social judgment. Feeling judged at home, at work, and especially at school. I thought that I would have no issues answering this question, and then I realized how deeply profound this conundrum can be. This is not a question that can be simply applied to an individual situation and provide us with a general answer. This is a question that hits us as the very root of our being, it awakens our consciousness. If we feel we are being judged then we must ask ourselves ‘what are we allowing ourselves to be judged about, and why does this person (or these people) have the right to judge me in this accord?’.
We pose this question to ourselves and begin to judge ourselves at this point based on the judgement we are perceiving from others. This leads to much cognitive dissonance that our brain is having difficulty sorting out. We can go about our day at this point, but at most, our actions are based on memory and reaction to daily events. Our brain processor is still overloaded with the ethical conundrum of being judged earlier.
Our brains will continue to process this information until we determine why we are giving power to person judging us and allowing our processors to be bogged down with their judgments. Once you realize that letting go of the power the other person has taken from you by releasing their right to force their judgments upon you. Even though the person’s intent may be to judge you, you have the ability to either accept this judgment or not.
Personally, I have learned to no longer accept the judgment of others unless I request it.
I understand the feeling of being judged by others and it certainly can leave us with a negative feeling. Even today, I realize that there are those around me who are judging me, yet I choose to give them no power over me. There are others in my life who are judging me and I request it of them. These are people who have earned my trust and have my best interests at heart when providing me with their helpful observations of my behaviour.
The point of this is to show you that if you are feeling judged by those around, you likely are. Whether you choose to allow these people to judge you is up to you. It is your choice to accept the judgment of those who have your best interests in mind, and to help guide you to where you want to be. It is also your choice to deny acceptance of judgment from those who have absolutely no right to judge who and what you are.
Remember that it is those individuals who freely judge those around them each who require the most judgment, and they should spend their time judging themselves first before worry about impelling theirs onto others. Social judgment is what it is and we cannot change this. How we react to it is our choice!